How To Achieve Harmony In our Relationships

Why is there disharmony in our relationships?
Relationships can be with people or with things. We give disproportionate importance to things, comforts and pleasures at the expense of our relationships. We think we are very busy because we consider unimportant activities as ‘things to do’. Today it is a fashion to say ‘I am busy!’ when actually we are doing nothing. We do not consider it important to invest our time being a good parent, partner or sibling. One cannot say,’I want a husband (or wife), but not a motherin- law!’ It doesn’t work that way. Learn to face people and situations as they come before you. Today we live in a virtual world. We have enough time to click a hundred thousand messages no time to actually meet people, hold somebody, or do something for someone. We have many roles to play. We ought to fulfil our responsibilities in all these roles and give each the importance and time it deserves. Material things ought not to take precedence over our relationships.

What brings harmony into our relationships?
Harmony is not possible in relationships unless there is harmony within. If you are grappling with unresolved issues which are agitating you then how can you expect harmonious relationships with others? Lack of harmony within will be reflected in your interactions with others and result in conflicts and disharmony.

How to achieve internal harmony?
Internal harmony is closely related to the four levels of our personality – physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual. Each one of these aspects of our personality has its own specific needs. If the needs of a particular level are satisfied, then there will be harmony at that level.

What are these needs and how can we satisfy them?
At the physical level you need food, clothing and shelter: If these needs are taken care, then you are physically fit. At the emotional level if you get your quota of love and you are giving your quota of love then you are emotionally balanced.

At the intellectual level all of us need good thoughts. The intellect survives on good thoughts. If you are hungry and you don’t get good food you will eat whatever is available, nourishing or not. So also if the intellect does not get positive thoughts, it will survive on negative thoughts. People believe its only purpose is to think about what to ‘eat’! This results in one of man’s biggest problems intellectual unfulfilled because for instance, they have chosen professions for wrong reasons – simply because ‘it has a lot of scope’. Under such conditions the intellect does not perform well.

What about the spiritual aspect of our personality?

There comes a stage in our lives when we feel discontented despite material success. We begin to wonder:

What is the meaning of life? Why did God make this world? How can I be happy? Why is there sorrow in this world? If we do not find the answers to these questions, then life seems meaningless. This vital prerequisite for harmonious relationships is generally overlooked. If you can harmonise yourself at all these levels then you have a better chance of living in harmony with those who are a part of your life.